Engish Weather explained


A friend sent me this, and I just couldn’t resist it.

In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate should no longer be referred to as ‘English Weather,’ but rather than offend a sizable portion of the population, it should be described as ‘Muslim Weather.’

In other words, ‘partly Sunni but mostly Shi’ite.’

For those of you not blessed with the holiness of the entirely ludicrous and irrelevant Archbishop of Canterbury, I should explain that he is a clerical buffoon who not long ago suggested that English law would have to start incorporating elements of Sharia law.

He himself, perhaps to signify a subtle shift in the direction of Islam, has a beard, though, like most things related to the Church of England, it is a feeble, lack-lustre affair.

He will never be fully accepted among the brave, full-blooded, 100% hairy, “let’s get our women and cretins to blow themselves up for Allah” elements of the community so eagerly subsidised by the Commission for the Human Rights of Everyone Who Wants to Come Over Here and Kill Us but Daren’t Go Back to Where They Came From Because Nobody There is Fooled for a Minute.

I might add that the large homosexual element amongst the clergy must have been a bit alarmed by His Disgrace the Archbishop’s remark as we all know what Mohamed thought about buggery.

Mind you, we of the the West are not unique in our contradictions. All communities have them.

I recall learning many years ago that a popular Pathan (those are the Afghans we are helping, dear) poem begins, “There’s a boy across the river with a bottom like a peach, but alas, I cannot swim.”

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

2 Comments

  1. Hi Drayton,

    I’m Muslim and it’s crap like this which makes us look bad.

    We never asked for special treatment but the media makes it seem like we do.

    Heck, we’ve been here for over half a century and now, suddenly, we do everything wrong?

    Don’t believe everything you read and hear in the media and from the government…

    The majority of Muslims are against terrorism of any kind.

    There are terrorists in every society and every religion.

    It’s not the fault of the religion but the way these morons interpret them.

    Thankfully, they are in the minority.

    Unfortunately, the media and government seem to want people to think the majority of Muslims support this rubbish.

    All the best,
    Rezbi

  2. Clark

    Well, considering that very few religions have been willing to end their love affairs with theocracy, homophobia and misogyny, it doesn’t particularly surprise me that this Archbishop has found some new friends across the cultural river.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.