The latest one – shades of 1984 – is called How Managers Can Confront – and Stop – Unacceptable Employee Behavior
It sure tells you how to kick the rebs into line
It includes a “module” called “Progressive Discipline: The “Career Advocate” Method for Salvaging Endangered Employees”.
The “overview” says that “every manager encounters employees who cross the line into unacceptable behavior. Maybe they tell off-color jokes. Spread gossip. Act like slobs. Practice poor personal hygiene. Ridicule core organizational values.”
What kind of person talks about “core organizational values?”
You can just picture it.
“Bloggs! Stand to attention. Have you been ridiculing core organisational values, you treacherous wretch?”
God, what garbage. Aimed at people with three fatal problems.
1. Don’t know how to hire the right people.
2. Don’t know how to manage or motivate them.
3. Speak in some weird pseudo-English that only exists among the living dead.
There’s a lot of them about. Like zombies they walk jerkily about in large firms, politics and government.
Incidentally, one of the greatest TV commercials ever, the one that made Apple and Chiat/Day famous, was based on the visceral loathing normal people have for this mindless, totalitarian approach to managing people.
Watch it.
http://cnettv.cnet.com/1984-apple-commercial/9742-1_53-15243.html
Not surprising.
I went for a job, some years ago, for the position of branch manager at a major retail chain.
After the interview the guy told me I was perfect management material… except for the fact he felt I'd be too soft on my staff.
But I was otherwise perfect for the role!!!
Thanks Drayton,
I love this stuff. I find that the profiles on Linked In are a good source, particularly if you track down people from Korporat Kultur. I found one of my ex-colleagues yesterday. He is now;
“… working with an outstanding change consultancy … They also have a fantastic incubator capability … as well as the ability to outsource sales.”
I can't help wonder if this really means he is;
'working as a painter and decorator … if he leaves his sandwiches near the heater they go mouldy really quickly … they put in ridiculous estimates and the jobs go to competitors.'
Oops, just noticed the next line; “They helped me enormously at Royal Mail so I chose to join them!!”
Oh shit!
Loved this post, Drayton.
Firms using terms like 'core organisational values' show themselves to be soulless entities, and thus probably without values of any sort.
Jargon like that is a warning flag. An intellectual labour saving device, proving they are too lazy to THINK.
I did take your advice to go watch the Apple Macintosh 1984 commercial. Loved it. I remember seeing it at the time, but had forgotten about it.
Fascinating to discover (on further research) that it was directed by Ridley Scott and conceived and scripted by Steve Hayden and Lee Clow.
I was also tickled to learn that when Steve Jobs screened the ad for Apple's directors, they all hated it. Shows what directors know about this side of their business, doesn't it?
Will I be thought prurient if I say that the babe in the commercial (Anya Major) was a knock-out? Perhaps I just have a thing for female hammer throwers. (Lest I be thought weird for that revelation … I used to throw hammer myself. Took it up so that I could better coach the event. p.b. of 42.96m, passable club level, no more.)
Thanks Drayton,
I love this stuff. I find that the profiles on Linked In are a good source, particularly if you track down people from Korporat Kultur. I found one of my ex-colleagues yesterday. He is now;
“… working with an outstanding change consultancy … They also have a fantastic incubator capability … as well as the ability to outsource sales.”
I can't help wonder if this really means he is;
'working as a painter and decorator … if he leaves his sandwiches near the heater they go mouldy really quickly … they put in ridiculous estimates and the jobs go to competitors.'
Oops, just noticed the next line; “They helped me enormously at Royal Mail so I chose to join them!!”
Oh shit!
excellent piece, thanks