The credit crunch: a victim speaks

A friend who was in the IT business has severe financial problems. I know how he feels, because I’ve been there myself.

It’s not really his fault – he’s been screwed right, left and centre by one or two business associates. But in the meantime, as the bankers whack out million pound bonuses all round, he explains his relationship with his creditors very well.

“My mortgage arrears of £3,604, and debt arrears of £1,820 could do with a little attention. I really feel sorry for them you see. They write such desperate letters to me. And when I call to tell them the bad news, they don’t seem to understand when I explain that it’s all their fault.

I tell them that any club that would have me as a member, I usually steer clear of. But they were so insistent at the beginning, I thought it would be rude not to accept their very generous offers. And when I explain that if they’d stopped at low-lives like me, and not invited millions of even lower-lives in the States to join the same club, I might still be making the payments.

They find no consolation in my joy at having left the IT world that was decimated by them closing membership to the lowest of the low – lawyers – who could no longer freely walk away with their shareholders money (the UK government and me) and buy our IT stuff.”