Witless compliance drivel comes to internet marketing

One thing you can rely on in the world. The minute something really gets going there will be a swarm of otherwise unemployable nitwits hired to make things more difficult.

These people usually end up in a department called “compliance” – a word which I believe is derived from the ancient Thracian phrase meaning “Place for useless drones.”

This yowl of pain is not prompted by the demented new legislation in the US which makes it difficult if not impossible to use testimonials; it is because of something that happened today which suggests somebody’s brains have drifted off into outer space.

I’ve been using a firm called Vertical Response to send out my emails for a while. One of the most successful subject lines I’ve ever used is, “Would you just like me to shut up?”

Vertical response have run this happily a couple of times in the past. Then on Friday they suddenly said it was unacceptable. I’m too damn busy to argue with halfwits, so I just let it slide.

But I ask you: is it obscene? Is it offensive? Is it libellous? Is it blasphemous? Is it even politically incorrect?

No.

It’s just had the misfortune to be read by someone with half a brain.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

1 Comments

  1. … But it’s OK to advertise the film ‘The Spy Who Shagged Me’ on the side of a bus

    Make fist at eye level
    Elevate middle finger
    Vertical Response

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