Booty from my disastrous trip to Oz … how to build a brand with laughs

Never try to do Australia in a week that includes two seminars. You lose lots of things including your mind – but this is brilliant

I should have known better. I’ve been going there since 1971. It is a long way away. The jetlag is ghastly (though ETIHAD business class is fantastic).

So I never knew what day of the week it was from start to finish. I am astounded only two people out of 175 thought I was no good on our copy days – but they were public servants and they didn’t like anything. Otherwise Malcolm Auld, John Hancock and I got the best ratings I’ve ever seen.

And Sharon Auld showed me this hilarious promotion from Icebreaker in New Zealand. Who says humour can’t sell? I always say that a smile overrides all logic – as long as the joke isn’t more interesting than what you’re selling.

Anyhow, on the trip I lost my wallet once ($450 to fly it from Melbourne to Sydney) my camera tripod, all my rail and bus passes and most of my mind. I also was enraged that the Four Seasons in Sydney charge $25 a day for wi-fi and the Grand Hyatt in Melbourne $29 – and they both conceal the charges till you try to log on. Rapacious bastards. They should go into pay-day loans.

The Four Seasons is looking very down at heel for a five star – gilt peeling off the lift buttons. I first spoke there in 1984 when it was The Regent. It doesn’t seem to have been fully done-up since.

Prices there are insane – as high as London – maybe higher. Can’t wait to go back again, though. The market in Melbourne is brilliant.

SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE. Do you need all those “friends”? Malcolm demolished some of the silly assumptions about this. Quote: If you depend on posts rather than specific Facebook pages for reaching your customers, then the more contacts, the faster your news disappears.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

6 Comments

  1. Jane

    But at least u have regained ur ‘mind’ and ‘memory’ (which r priceless) by paying £450 postages…

    1. admin

      Yes; but I’m so damn tight I HATE having to replace things … I think it’s a result of having started out with not much except an education and expensive tastes …

  2. Great to see you in Australia Drayton!

    I certainly got a lot out of the Sydney event. Excellent, real-world, points from Malcolm about social media and online in general. John Hancock was great for the hard-core copywriters among us (I suspect there were a few “glazed eyes” among the general marketing crowd).

    1. admin

      Thanks, Kevin. It was a pleasure. I have to say the whole trip was a blur and I keep discovering more and more stuff that I mislaid. A library book. A bus pass. A rail pass. A tripod. And probably about half a brain.

  3. Shannon O'Hara

    Dear Drayton,
    I’ve just received a less-than-enticing email from melochemonnex.com offering spam email servers.
    Interestingly, the ‘To:’ address was drayblog@spoharax.com.
    A commenting address long since banned/trolled from your blog.
    Oh Dear! Are the coffers running so low that you are reduced to flogging off even the banned addresses?
    Kind regards
    Shannon O’Hara

    1. admin

      It seems impossible to stop these people.

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