In jocular mood as I prepare to head off for a break in New York
As you may have noticed, I think nearly all slogans are a waste of space and money, but I must thank whoever sent me the Sony line for their computer – “It’s what your hands have been practicing for”.
Maybe this came from some costly research by their agency into how men spend their time online. Brilliant.
***
I got a message from a lady just now who complained that all my emails sell things, and asked what is my vision. Just in case anyone reading this feels the same, here is my reply:
Apart from anything we sell, we send out on email every three days (at least) which does not sell, but gives advice.
But I am afraid we also sell things, though nobody is forced to buy them.
I can only say it is a nasty habit I got into. It began over 40 years ago when I wrote a book, which was sold. Then I wrote another, which was sold. And another. And so on. I got into this habit because I discovered that if you don’t sell you don’t eat.
I am afraid I have grave doubts about people who talk about visions and missions. They usually live in corporate wonderland.
But my intention is to make a living, as I hope yours is.
***
But on the matter of selling I am a mere innocent.
Did I ever tell you about Monroe Kane, a U.S.copywriter I met when I was young? He was brilliant, but quite incapable of telling the truth. His lawyer made more money than he did by keeping him out of jail.
A highly regarded U.S. copywriter sent out a message today promising his readers “massive wealth breakthroughs” and that “wealth magnets can instantly elevate your income.”
The subject line was “Your last chance to get very, very rich.” For “very, very rich” you can safely read “screwed”.
We can safely say this comes from the “never give a sucker an even break” school of business.
To write that kind of thing you have to have larceny in your soul. In the old days he would have needed a good lawyer.
In 1995, in an article I wrote for Madagans, certified baillifs – http://www.themadagangroup.co.uk/ – I said “any business which derives profit out of trading the margin between buying and selling must be adept at attracting a steady stream of profitable customers and keeping all its costs to a minimum.”
There’s a big difference between ‘customers’ and ‘profitable customers’ and business that don’t have what it takes to attract and retain the latter are more likely to end up with a combination of the former and rising costs.
Making stuff and/or selling it is all there is. The rest exists in the margins. Amen.