True story recently published in a newspaper

The importance of accuracy in your tax return

This heart-rending cautionary tale produced chortles of joy in this aged reader.

It shows just how essential attention to detail is when dealing with the tax authorities. Please read it carefully.

It seems HMRC returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly

In response to the question, “Do you have anyone dependant on you?” the man wrote:

“2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Parliament and the whole of the European Commission”.

HMRC responded that the response he gave was unacceptable.

The man’s response was “Who did I miss out?”

I am indebted for this timely piece of news to eagle-eyed reader Jack Williams.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

15 Comments

  1. You could have replaced the name HMRC with IRS … and it sounds like the same conversation going on over here in the US…

    1. admin

      You’re not going to believe this, but the tax laws here are even more complex than yours. Thay are actually the most complex in the world. Cameron, who speaks out of both sides of his mouth at once – both sides lies – said he would reform them, but didn’t. There are potent arguments in favour of a low flat tax – low enough so that the very rich can’t be bothered to evade and the poor think they are fair.

      1. Ron

        I’d be curious to see the original story that this post was based upon. I seem to recall a very similar story going around *about* the US Internal Revenue Department. Though I don’t think the US story had the tax payer having the pique to ask if there was anyone who’d been left out of the list! 😉

        1. Drayton

          Yes, I fear it’s one of those that go whizzing round for years – perhaps getting the reaction “I wish I’d said that”.

  2. Make the man from Evesham our next Chancellor.

  3. That is priceless, Drayton. I’m going to share that with as many people as I can.

  4. Mike Oldroyd

    As we say here in Australia Drayton, this is pure GOLD.
    I haven’t cried with laughter in such a long time, but this morning your blog post tickled me pink.

    Thank you Drayton, you made my day.

  5. Leslie Sprankling

    I laughed too! But how absolutely true. The numbers are fewer in Australia but the proportions are much the same.

  6. George from Denver

    OMG! That’s blow-coffee-out-your-nose funny!

  7. Jared Ball

    Thanks for the fun. Nice to laugh instead of serious read some dumb nuts candor to drive me to buy something. Point well made.

  8. Jeff Jones

    I have mixed feelings about whether or not it is comforting to know that the UK has similar “issues” as the U.S.A. or if we are all doomed.
    Hmmmm?

    1. admin

      I think pretty much all “western” countries have the same problems – to varying degrees and differing in some respects one from another. Politicians who only aim to gain and stay in office and promise people what they want based on polls rather than what they need; an unhealthy, idle, largely illiterate and even innumerate local population; political correctness posing as justice; a bloated public sector; massive debt; terrifying deficits; prodigious waste; policies that exploit rather than help the poorer countries – which is why we have so many thronging to come in. I think that’ll do to start with.

  9. Dean

    Wish i was brave enough to write that………brilliant.

  10. Thanks for the chuckle… In a way I hate to be overly serious about something that was actually quite funny but…

    I used to be a part owner of a mortgage broking business and saw what was likely to happen well before it happened. I didn’t get the scale of things as such but knew where we were heading.

    As a naturally curious type, I spent a good portion of my time in researching the nature of the structures and constructs which drive our behaviour. As far as I can tell almost all our behaviour is driven by the structures in which we live, work and play.

    So, we have a money system which creates credit from thin air at compound interest. In the main this is created by a dysfunctional banking system who get to keep all the private profits but where the debt is socialised by everyone.

    We have a political system that is based on the lessor of two or maybe three evils. Independent thinkers can’t get a look in so they are forced to join one of the bigger parties and compromise their own integrity.

    We have companies who are forced to monopolise or form cartels because of the deficient money based system and the need to drive ever more growth.

    Our education system is as dysfunctional as our money system where students are taught to pass a test and teachers are rewarded for the end result IE pass the test. The true end result is people who know a lot about passing a test and nothing about the real world.

    Our institutions are interested in surviving at all costs and won’t open their eyes to new ideas, new models or new structures.

    As for the great unwashed, socially inept, illiterate local population. They are driven by the same structures we all have to try and work within. The great unwashed have learned helplessness. This feat has been accomplished by realising that they have zero control or influence and no matter where they turn, officialdom will want to stop them and will stop them.

    Trust me, I know because I used to be one of them. Luck, past experience and some innate drive got me out of a huge mess. It’s a very thin line between being comfy in a warm home and being held hostage in a hostel.

    One last point to ponder or wonder at.

    When I was a twenty, thirty and even forty something I only cared about one thing and that was me. Provided I could go skiing, play some tennis and have a reasonably nice car to drive, not much else bothered me.

    As a fifty plus something, I now find a joy in finding out what is under the surface and coming up with innovative ways to move us forward. Why the change and where will it lead me or us for that matter?

    Regards

    Steve
    p.s. Thanks for the chuckle Drayton

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