And why most employment agencies are utterly useless – if not worse. Plus how to get millions. Really.
Years ago John Smale, retired head of Proctor and Gamble, was asked what he thought was their most important asset. He said it wasn’t the brands, the products or the factories. It was the staff.
So if you agree with a man who successfully ran the world’s most sophisticated marketing business, read on.
About five years ago my then PA Denise decided she’d had enough, but being very efficient she had the perfect replacement, a very competent 19 year old. All I had to do was pay a couple of thousand to an employment agency.
Not bloody likely. Too young; too expensive. And employment agencies haven’t a clue about how to write ads – besides being a total rip-off. So I wrote an ad and ran it on Gumtree for about £30. It got over 80 replies, including twelve very good ones. I ended up with Iane from Brazil, a wonderful woman who became a great friend.
Pretty much the same situation has just arisen. I wrote the following ad and got 40 replies within 4 days – two within 5 minutes. But this time the ad was free. Again, I can see several people who sound perfect and feel rotten that I can’t hire them all.
Wanted: brilliant, long-suffering PA – to work from home for demanding old git
The pay is nothing special, but you may find it interesting.
I am a writer, speaker, travel a lot, pretty disorganised, allegedly one of the best in the world at what I do.
I need someone to make up for my many inadequacies.
You must be literate, numerate, good at PowerPoint, resourceful, a good organiser (of me and what I do), good with people and prepared to put up with someone who may ring you at odd hours.
You must understand the internet. If, like Chloe who has been doing the job but is emigrating you also understand anything about video that would be even better.
You will never be bored, but often confused. As far as I know everyone who has done this job (only 5 in the last 34 years) enjoyed it. You can ask Chloe about it if you get on the short list.
Age is not important. The oldest doing this job was 58; the youngest, 22. The reason for the ad is that I’m closing down my London office and going to work at home in Bristol.
Please write an e-mail telling me about yourself to Drayton@Draytonbird.com.
One person said she had read that ad six times. Most people commented on it. That’s because most job ads read as if written by speak your weight machines. Yet they are the most important ads you will ever run.
I’m afraid most replies are pretty clueless, too. But that’s another subject.
Just think. If you can write a decent ad, why pay some numpty £2,000 to do it badly?
If you want to know more about this and other aspects of copy in all media that plumps up your bank balance, you have to be here.
One delegate is going to tell you how to get millions from governments.
Wouldn’t that make a pleasant change?
This ad has to capture anyone’s imagination, it’s in everyday talk, and as you so rightly state elsewhere in your blurb “it describes exactly what’s in the can” In otherwords not a can of worms! Whoever gets the job will be a fortunate person.
Sorry I can’ make Bristol as I’m in France currently completing a renovation to make a B&B………Website needs photos!
What a great ad Drayton – so honest – hiring the right staff is a nightmare – at least with your trademark plain speaking the applicants know what they’re in for!
We’ve trashed thousands over the years on ill suited bods from agencies, so we’ll be giving this approach a try next time.
Now this is the way employment ads shoud be written.
The musuem I work at is looking for a new director–and has placed ads in various scholarly publications, and through electronic media. I can only imagine what those ads were like. . . . Stating things like “must have a doctorate degree in whatever, . . . must be able to do fund raising, . . . must be published, . . . must know musuem operations, etc.” I am sure reading the ad was pretty bland.
But if the ad was like what you did–well they would have an overwhelming response! And would of had a better selection of candidates!
The ad got over 70 replies in the end. What made me sad is that quite a few were from people sick to death of working for bores. I have long believed there are far fewer problemns with staff than with education and bosses. Our schools churn out people who have neither been taught to write or understand basic mathematics nor encouraged to learn for themselves. They, poor ill-equipped creatures, go to work for people who are absurdly pleased with themselves at reaching some petty corporate eminence. Often you can see it on their faces as they stride, smug and self-satisfied, about the streets.