Why would a great country with countless clever and educated people produce such appalling guff? Oh God! Maybe they’ve been copying our lot
When I first came to London to seek my fortune in 1961 I shared a flat with Jimmy – Gopal Krishna – Menon, a nephew of the celebrated Krishna Menon, one of the great figures in Indian politics.
25 years later I was thrilled to go to India and help set up a direct division for Ogilvy, Benson and Mather. Ever since I have loved the country. I have enjoyed my visits immensely, was hugely impressed by many of the clever and kindly people I met there – and made friendships then which have lasted nearly thirty years.
My general feeling was further strengthened when the Direct Marketing Association of India made me one of the first three members of their Hall of Fame a year or so ago.
There was even talk of my speaking there, to the point that two of the organisers came to see me in Bristol.
They stayed just long enough to say they couldn’t pay me because they had no members and no money. I was a bit puzzled – mainly because they keep running events. How do they survive? This must be the commercial equivalent of the famous Rope Trick.
Anyhow, they keep sending me emails. And I keep reading them – with the kind of horrified fascination with which I guess the average cobra must display on meeting a particularly enthusiastic mongoose.
That’s because they are quite execrable and – as you might expect – mostly about today’s number one bore: social media.
Here’s an example.
Heading: The world is going mobile. Have you arrived?
The rest is almost entirely cliché and jargon, spiced in the second sentence by a dash of total incomprehensibility.
The internet and social media have been fundamental in making the world a global village. But the true holding the reigns today is Mobile. Companies both big and small are constantly discovering newer strategies to engage their customers. With the number of savvy customers increasing, it has become invariably important to use strategies that involve mid-flight optimization and omni-channel engagement. So come get a better understanding about how you can creatively leverage your brand and keep your organization competitive in a rapidly evolving mobile industry.
Most of their stuff reads like that. Here’s another.
People today engage with brands in the online space more than ever. Whether it’s a Corporate Social Responsibility initiative or an innovative app that leaves the user with an affinity towards the brand, an effective recall is invariably established. Moreover, smart social media strategies empower you to interact with your customers at a more conversational level. So come get insights relevant to your niche and leave brimming with ideas that will make social a tangible asset for you.
This is all very strange. Some very fine writers indeed have emerged from India.
What a shame none of their work is familiar to the people who wrote that dreadful guff. And what a shame that those people don’t understand what the word “conversational” actually means, and write accordingly.
I am disturbed by the thought – in fact the strong conviction – that they are just copying the turgid corporate ullage produced over here. Surely they couldn’t come up with such tripe on their own.
