How catastrophic is your waffle?

Are you a proactive, strategic thought-leader who thinks outside the box? Then get ready for unemployment, pal

For many years I have been moaning about the pretentious bilge people in business come up with.

To this end I have often quoted some research (which I lost years ago) that showed the thing people most hate in meetings was jargon. Actually, the thing I most hate is meetings themselves, but that’s another matter.

Oddly enough the people who torture the language more than most in this respect are often copywriters.  You’d be amazed how many think they are strategic. And how very few know what the word means.

Anyhow I have now been fortified in my loathing by some research from Careerbuilder among over 2,000 hirers into what turns recruiters off hiring, or even seeing would-be employees.

Here are two lists.

One gives the words they hate seeing in resumes. And the other, the ones they like.

One thing I learned immediately. Unless you can wag your tail, don’t say you’re “best of breed “.  That turned 38% of responders right off..

Here’s all the other drivel to cross out, with the percentage of hiring managers calling these terms their pet peeve:

2. Go-getter (27 percent)

3. Think outside the box (26 percent)

4. Synergy (22 percent)

5. Go-to person (22 percent)

6. Thought leadership (16 percent)

7. Value add (16 percent)

8. Results-driven (16 percent)

9. Team player (15 percent)

10. Bottom-line (14 percent)

11. Hard worker (13 percent)

12. Strategic thinker (12 percent)

13. Dynamic (12 percent)

14. Self-motivated (12 percent)

15. Detail-oriented (11 percent)

16. Proactively (11 percent)

17. Track record (10 percent)

So what should you say?  “Don’t say you are ‘results-driven’; show the employer your actual results” said the report.

Actually it said “provide details that show how you embody these qualities in the workplace” – but that is bad writing too.

Anyhow after that little moan, here’s what people liked.

1. Achieved (52 percent)

2. Improved (48 percent)

3. Trained/Mentored (47 percent)

4. Managed (44 percent)

5. Created (43 percent)

6. Resolved (40 percent)

7. Volunteered (35 percent)

8. Influenced (29 percent)

9. Increased/Decreased (28 percent)

10. Ideas (27 percent)

11. Negotiated (25 percent)

12. Launched (24 percent)

13. Revenue/Profits (23 percent)

14. Under budget (16 percent)

15. Won (13 percent)

If you are interested in the right way to get a job, go and download my free e-book How to Get a Better Job.

And if you are interested in being able to write better than far too many people who call themselves copywriters, check out How to Write and Persuade. Then you’ll have some fun stuff to do over the weekend.