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Drayton Bird Associates

Results – nothing less

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Author: Drayton

A little harvest of drivel, piffle, waffle and sheer insanity – plus something helpful for you

A puzzlement. Who on earth comes up with all this horseshit? And how much are they paid to do so? Two days ago I did a talk to audiologists – a posh word for people who sell hearing aids. I’ve …

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Who tells more lies than those “you’ll get rich without working” gurus ?

You’re right: politicians. So here’s a good one from my old partner Glenmore Trenear-Harvey Two Crocodiles were sitting by the side of the swamp near the river.  The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand …

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Was this what Salvation Army founder William Booth had in mind when he wrote this?

“While women weep, as they do now, I’ll fight. While little children  go hungry, as they do now, I’ll fight.” Or was he really thinking “One day we’ll have a big shiny headquarters amidst some of the world’s most expensive …

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Another nice mess – why don’t I keep my big mouth shut?

With a contribution from the Great Denny Hatch and the acutely perceptive Howie Jacobson I’ll come to Denny and Howie in a minute, but first: A few months ago I went to Slovenia to talk to a big mail order …

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“I told you so”. Amidst the usual torrent of bilge, some things worth thinking about

“Back to the future”. What I suggested to Sir Martin Sorrell all those years ago. Did it make any sense then? Does it now? When WPP put in a bid twenty odd years ago I was one of the two or …

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Introducing Verruca Marketing. Is this the most fatuous statement this year (outside politics)

Tsars of this, Tsars of that.  Now a chiropodist is hailed as a “thought leader”.  Whatever next? No wonder marketers are laughed at in the boardroom. I just read a message from yet another bloody marketing “guru” who said I …

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Ah, the wonderful world of “chat”! Or rather non chat. And other insights into how not to do business

This evening about 6 a possible client called one of my colleagues. I rang the number given. It didn’t work. That was just the start of well over an hour’s fun and games. I am a bit of a persistent …

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Oh, oh, oh, I’m so sincere and wonderful and so are we and I just LOVE talking about us – especially me. How come nobody gives a flying f**ck?

Painstaking attention to all the wrong things. Great hair, busy hands, no cliché – verbal or visual – ignored. And it wasn’t cheap either Years ago I was doing work for the Tories, whilst a friend was similarly engaged on …

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Welcome to the world’s most WTF website … and more pretentious bats**t about “content”

Or maybe you’d prefer a little wisdom from the man who scared the pants off David Ogilvy I’ll come to the mystery website in a moment. First, though, a stroll down memory lane. When I was young people might sometimes …

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Praise the Lord! At last some FACTS about Social Media

Amidst the babble and waffle, a voice of sanity from  – of all places – the wonderful world of PR I don’t know if I ever told you this, but in my second job in advertising I was made to …

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