This just in from Wandsworth Cemetery. It’s only a shame that the member of the Undead who wrote it can’t spell “seamlessly”. Performance Canvas Planning is the first fully unified Information Synthesis, Performance Management and Planning tool that uses the …
Read MoreAuthor: Drayton
What a nasty, suspicious, curmudgeonly, hypercritical old git I am
I don’t know what comes over me some of these mornings. Maybe it’s a light coating of imaginary volcanic ash. Why do I doubt the promise of Rocketfish that they will “Launch (or blast) Drayton Bird Partnership website into first …
Read MoreFile under “Blinding glimpses of the obvious”, “Fancy that” or “I just landed from Mars and this is all new to me”
God, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. I subscribe to all sorts of things in the hope that every now and then somebody will say something interesting. The result is I get messages of …
Read MoreA smile between sneezes
I have a filthy cold, but decided to take a look at the usual flood of messages. The most extraordinary, by far, was headed “Validation”. Only someone suffering from incessant curiosity would read on, but I did, and read a …
Read MoreHow did I ever fail to come across Tom Fishburne?
For a long time I wrote a column for Marketing – in fact some people think I still do, although I stopped well over a decade ago. Anyhow, I was replaced by Mark Ritson, a very perceptive commentator, much better …
Read MoreA tale of loose underpants – or how to kill a great brand
I’ll get back to the stuff on the left in a minute, but first I really must apologise for the utter banality of most of my marketing advice, as it seems to consist of a series of blinding glimpses of …
Read MorePresenting the long-awaited inorgural issue of a brilliant new magazine
You’re probably a bit fed up with gnawing your thumbs as your await the consequences of our farcical general election, so here it is. Years ago I sent a memo to all my creative people reminding them of what they …
Read MorePass the junk: a doubly poisoned chalice whoever wins
This little graph from the New York Times neatly explains that what the bankers were doing – passing on worthless junk we ended up paying for – is exactly what Europe’s politicians are doing. They are passing each other’s toxic …
Read MoreGhouls from banks strike again
A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her for October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been …
Read MoreA curse on specialists and their fatuous lingo…
Every day I walk past a rather grand building on the same street as my squalid office which is occupied by Tribal DDB and wonder how long they will carry on doing well. They obviously have some talented people, but …
Read More