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Statements such as "brilliant", "hugely perceptive", "what a splendid man" and "can I buy you dinner at the restaurant of your choice" are all greeted with glee.

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Don’t be in such a hurry to get engaged. It could cost you money

In search of knowledge a leading marketer tries to find out what precisely “engagement” means – and whether you should seek it

Since I knew him as a young pup at American Express Martin Chilcott has worked all over the world for leading brands. Like all good people he is curious – and sceptical

He sent me this today:

I always encourage audiences to ask those promoting the need for greater ‘engagement’ to ask  ”so what do you actually mean by engagement?”

This still gets a big laugh, but little other input.

So I thought I should do some research and happened upon a typical Corporate Employee Engagement Consultant (groan!) definition.

They defined ‘employee engagement ‘as feeling ‘involved’ and being ‘committed’.

Not much else was advanced as to what this meant, although it did remind me of the old joke about ‘bacon and eggs’ – the Hen is involved, but the Pig is committed.

So I thought, I’ll just google ‘Customer engagement?’ and as usual Wikipedia have done their SEO homework and secured first place amongst the herd.

Customer engagement (CE) is the engagement of customers with one another, with a company or a brand. The initiative for engagement can be either consumer- or company-led and the medium of engagement can be on or offline.

So still none the wiser I pressed on.

Customer engagement has been discussed widely online; hundreds of pages have been written, published, read and commented upon. Numerous high-profile conferences, seminars and roundtables have either had CE as a primary theme or included papers on the topic.

However, despite plenty of discussion, still no mention of what the f**k it is.

But then enlightenment beckoned when I happened upon the adobe blog ‘Demystifed’, that sought to achieve its eponymous mission, by explaining how to calculate an ‘engagement index’.

Its key variables are: how often I returned to a website, the amount of time I spent there, the number of site feeds to which I subscribed (1 or zero for most I would have thought e.g. the ubiquitous ‘our newsletter’ sign up).

And finally the amount of ‘critical’ content viewed (presumably jolly important stuff that the Brand Manager thinks we should ‘engage’ with).

At last someone was shining a light on this dark corner of the Marketing lexicon, until it appears their case study shows that the higher the ‘engagement’ on their own Analytics website from various marketing sources, the LOWER the conversions i.e. SALES!

I propose that no one should try and develop a single ‘engagement’ index, but rather look at where the customer is in relation to even thinking about your product, let alone buying it and the action required to get them closer to parting with their hard earned cash.

…AND what if I could wrap it all up in plain English, which created a snappy and relevant acronym to enlighten the hipsters and inhabitants of W1A?

-Pay attention
-Recognise some relevance quickly
-Exclude other distractions and continue reading
-Feel good about what’s on offer
-Explore to confirm at least one good reason for decision
-Respond (Visiting, Enquiring, Buying, Donating, Voting, Commenting, Sharing)

It also neatly torpedoes any fool’s errand to just generate awareness (or in the modern world ‘likes’) and recognises the importance of preference over other things, including competitors’ products and videos of cats.

Then I thought, hang on a minute isn’t that just AIDCA? Attention, Interest, Desire, Conviction/Commitment, Action.

Back to the drawing board or back to the basics – and ignore the latest engagement bullshit.

I am not Martin’s agent, but he is an excellent speaker and damn good if you have a serious marketing problem to solve. He’s at http://hotchillymarketing.com/



How can anyone take marketing seriously when people spew out such incoherent guff

You’re quite right. Marketing and advertising are populated by incompetent, illiterate, clueless nitwits – or so the research shows

I read this in Advertising Age about an hour ago.

“What fraud is doing is making this category of engagement advertising, raising it up quite a bit and saying that this is our anti” – Joe Marchese, CEO of True[x], an ad-tech company which creates ads requiring human engagement to unlock content.

Imagine being in the same room as someone who trots out such incomprehensible piffle.

But, come to that, why should you be surprised? Here are some facts from Are your marketers trained in marketing? in Malaysia’s Marketing magazine yesterday.

- 90% of marketers have no training in Marketing Performance & Marketing ROI.

- 80% struggle to show the business effectiveness of what they do to their bosses.

- 67% don’t believe marketing ROI requires a financial outcome (!!!)

- 63% don’t include any financial outcome when reporting or presenting results.

So how do they measure the effectiveness of what they do?

All the wrong ways.

64% rely on Brand Awareness above all.

58% rely on “Likes”, “Tweets”, “Clicks” and/or “CTR”.

31% of the poor deluded souls think measuring the audience reached gives ROI.

And over 80% cannot write a simple P&L and balance sheet.

Well, years ago Richard Branson admitted that he can’t read a balance sheet, and nor can I, so that doesn’t worry me.

What does is the fact that these people don’t even realise what they are there for.

Are you thinking this is just Malaysia? No.

Fournaise interviewed over 1,200 CEOs and senior people in North America, Europe, Asia and Australia

They measured the effectiveness of 2.5+ million B2C/B2B marketing strategies, campaigns and ads.

We’re talking about an industry that invests over $400 million per annum – on sheer folly.

In the words of Jerome Fontaine of Fournaise, these people are seen as  ‘money spenders who jump on and hide behind the latest fads and blow smoke’.

Yesterday I also watched a splendid speech by Bob Hoffman which talked about all this folly.

In relation to current fads, how these bozos measure what they get paid for and how they squander their firms’ money he noted:

-  Banner ads have a click-through rate of 1/1000

- Only 38% of total online traffic is human; the othr 62% Bots

-  54% of internet display ads between May 2012 and February 2013 never appeared in front of a live human being.

- Facebook’s “Pages” Platform reaches only 6% of a brand’s followers – going down.

And as I hope we all know, e-mail is 40x more effective at getting new clients than Facebook and Twitter combined.

All this and similar stuff has pushed me over the edge.

I have been thinking for years of writing another marketing book – but have put it off.

Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing has been (so my publisher assures me) a best seller since 1982. But it has also swollen grotesquely. There’s just too much to read.

And marketing has changed. The internet means that pretty much all marketing is now direct.

So now that I am too old to benefit, marketing has moved my way, and I am now working on Commonsense Marketing which will be a lot shorter but I hope a much easier read.

I shall be offering the first chapter free so you can see if my hand and brain retain their ancient cunning.

But also to help you get more than your fair share of this $400 million business infested by nitwits.

I don’t know where the $400 million figure came from. I am sure it is many times that. Maybe it just refers to the campaigns Fournaise measures.








Are your meetings a waste of time? Of course they are – but what’s the solution?”

Expert gives what seems an insane answer. Then a quick video reveals a billionaire’s views

Sadly our business only has one meeting a year. It is called Christmas Lunch.

This is clearly not enough. Most businesses have lots of meetings.

So I am going to double the frequency and introduce The Summer Piss-up.

I also plan lots of presentations and seminars and conferences and boot camps and summits.

But am I getting carried away? Research reveals that:

  • 10% of workers have suffered through something so tedious they invented an excuse to leave.
  • One in eight admits to having fallen asleep during a presentation.
  • 50% say they saw a colleague doing so.
  • A third say they started day-dreaming.
  • 80% said they would get more done at their desks.

What is the answer?

Well, Christian Schwaiger, VP at Sharp Business Solutions Europe, says the key is “making sure everyone gets involved”.

Unless I am missing the plot here, this means your entire staff will be bored s***less almost all day, every day.

There is an alternative, though.

In 2008 I interviewed Peter Hargreaves of Hargreaves Lansdown to discover his business secrets.

Today he is worth a couple of billion pounds, but in those days he was still rubbing along on a few million.

Watch what he had to say.

By the way, if you’re stuck with meetings whether you like it or not, I will tell you how to make the most of them in a while.

P.S. To all those idiots who pay to have phoney automated comments up here in the fond hope of getting their rubbish products mentioned: don’t waste your money. I delete them.



A black curse on techno-loonies who confuse change with improvement

The Mystery of the Phantom Books – and have computers improved things that much?

One of my favourite pessimists is Lord Salisbury, a deeply conservative Prime Minister under Queen Victoria.

Whenever change was suggested he would ask “Aren’t things bad enough already?”*

This came to mind when I went onto the Bristol Libraries website this morning, with two aims.

  1. To ask why they had made it more difficult to renew books
  2. To try and reserve books by an author I like

I knew the rot had set in when the Chelsea Library I used previously introduced computers about five years ago.

I imagine some creepy salesman sold them the idea of saving money by replacing the perfectly competent and pleasant folk staff with machines.

The machines malfunctioned so much – and probably still do – that I suspect and hope that nearly all the people are still there, if only to explain why nothing works.

One thing that worked very well here in Bristol was the online renewal system.

I would go online to renew; the machine would recognise me and fill in my library number and password automatically; then with a few clicks, all was done.

They have just improved things.

Now when I go online, I first see an ad promoting childhood reading or something, that is of no interest to me – then I have to fill in my details manually.

Bloody stupid. They have added another step and made me work.

As in Chelsea the machines malfunction regularly and there are happily still plenty of people there to help.

But here’s a lulu for you.

As I write I am looking at an excellent historical whodunit by Melvin R. Starr called The Unquiet Bones.

It is the second of his books I have taken out from Bristol Central Library, though for some reason probably suggested by a re-branding buffoon he has also written as Mel Starr.

I would like to read the others he has written.

When I go to the library website to search, it says they have none of his books. He is unknown either as Melvin or Mel. He is a phantom scribe

By what miracle have I managed to read two books by this non-existent author? Maybe the library is a figment of my imagination.

* In case you haven’t read my favourite Lord Salisbury story, it is about a dinner party.

Salisbury was extremely absent-minded.

Turning to the man next to him he asked, “Who is that gentleman four places down on the right?”

“That is your eldest son, my lord.”






Do people write boring dreary corporate tosh because they lead boring dreary corporate lives?

Who are those two maniacs in the swimming pool? A little glimpse into the way it was when we ran our first agency

Dozy old codgers always moan on about the good old days. So this is my turn.

When we got our first agency going one of the cheeriest sounds on many afternoons was the happy clunk as another empty bottle of champagne landed in a wastepaper basket.

In the back of our Covent Garden office was a table-tennis table. Kim Marriott, Chris Jones and I were the champions.

At Christmas parties cocktails were mixed in dustbins. Did our clients come? You bet.

Every time it was someone’s birthday we all went to the pub at lunch – and came back late, if at all.

When we grew too many for this practice to work we would take over a restaurant for the afternoon and all go out, leaving one person to answer the phone.

We would have jolly car rallies and country house jaunts. I recall seeing one bright young executive’s husband climbing up the side of a building somewhere in Sussex. When last I heard he was a high court judge.

En route to that little do my wife and I stopped because we saw some goats with a lot of people in a field. Thus I became – and remained for many years – a member of the Hampshire Goat Circle without owning a goat. Why not?

One year we piled into a coach ant went to a stately Lutyens manor house.

Someone had baked a cake containing a stimulating substance to go with champagne aperitifs consumed en-route.

So we were unusually boisterous that day. The owner of the place found one of my art directors – a studious looking chap – quietly reading in the library.

“Are you in charge of this lot?”

“No. That’s the two guys in the swimming pool”

Glenmore and I had jumped in with all our clothes on to follow a lady who had taken most of hers off.

Yes; we worked like hell.

But now you know one way to build a business and sell it for a lot of money in a very short time.

It’s called making it fun.

Thirteen years after I sold that business to O & M and it no longer existed it was still listed high on a poll of the most desirable places to work in London.

And you can take your missions, your visions, your strategies,your CRM, your Content Marketing and your Social Media and stick them wherever you bloody well please.

Introducing the other side of success (the one I failed at)

It’s a fat lot of use being a whiz at copy or marketing if you don’t know how to meet the right people – and get them to do what you want face to face

You may find this  hard to believe – I disguise it pretty well – but I am painfully shy.

If I go into a room full of people I don’t know, I won’t speak to anybody – unless they speak to me first or I’ve had a lot to drink and usually both. I blench to think how much utter rubbish I have talked as a result and how much business I have lost.

When I was first asked to do a speech at a friend’s wedding I was so terrified I made a complete fool of myself. So much so that bride’s father stood up and said “Since the best man hasn’t made a speech, I will.”

That put me off talking in public for twenty years. But unless you can talk confidently to people face to face – either as individuals or in groups – you simply cannot succeed in business – or anything else.

What’s the use of going to a networking event if it’s such a bloody nightmare you don’t talk to anyone?

What’s the use of meeting someone influential if you don’t know how to explain what you do and how you can help?

What’s the use of having a brilliant business idea if you can’t sell it to the people who have the money you desperately need to get going?

What’s the use of having created a sensational series of ads or an ingenious  new app if you don’t know how to sell them face to face to your client?

What’s the use of knowing you can completely transform someone’s business if you don’t know how to do a compelling presentation?

If that makes sense to you, then I have the answer.

It is not me. It is the man who taught me to do all these things, and can teach you.

He helps big firms with deals worth billions. He has written not one but two best-sellers on the techniques of persuasion. He radically improved my approach to presenting – when I thought I already knew all about it.

He is funny, clever, surprising, amazingly down to earth and downright inspiring.

He shows you how to persuade other people to do what you want.

And not just in business, but in your personal life. Because there is more to life than business, isn’t there? So he also talks about his wife, his children and his mother.

You will love him.

I will be writing to you about him next week.

Keep your eyes peeled!

First Great Western: the gap between ghastly experience and corporate complacency

What excites the overpaid bozos running First Great Western? Flatulent puffery. And what would excite us passengers? Seats to sit in and toilets that work

There is not much wrong with the workers in this country that couldn’t be cured by better management.

Earlier this week I had a little bitch because a little goblin dressed as a porter in Bristol didn’t give a monkeys about me missing a train.

It wasn’t entirely his fault. Nobody running things had suggested he be polite to the passengers who in the end pay his wages.

More recently I suggested the ROAR agency’s press releases would be better if the opening sentences were just slightly shorter than a chapter in Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

This provoked a couple of notes from their boss who began by  reminding me what an old has-been I am. God forbid he explains to my clients that cash brought in by aged scribes doesn’t buy as much as the stuff  his bright young people produce.

To be fair, he did have something to boast about, unlike First Great Western whose entire board should be forced to travel on the 3.30 pm from Paddington to Bristol with full bladders.

So here is another example of how not to write a press release.

It is how they told me that, far too late - perhaps inspired by the thought of losing their license to rip us all off – they are investing in improving things.


All press releases that begin with the words “We have exciting news” – or anything of that kind – should be folded into neat wads and rammed up the derrieres of their composers.

And all designers who have type centred and reversed out on a picture like that should go and study what makes for easy reading.

But you know, these are mere peccadilloes if you read to the end, where they furtively reveal the truth. This is not exciting news. It is bloody depressing. Because they admit things are going to get even worse than they are already.

I am amazed by this, because any even vaguely competent PR firm knows that burying bad news like that is a no-no. But maybe the bright young sparks in today’s big PR firms are as ignorant of their job as those in today’s big ad agencies.

My heart goes out to the staff on the trains, a long-suffering bunch who are going to spend even more time making excuses for problems not of their making.

Anyhow, this seems a good time to answer a question that may – however fleetingly – sometimes cross your mind.

“This old fraud Bird seems frightfully good at criticizing other people, but is he any good himself?”

To find the answer to that all you need to do is consult a little portfolio we’ve just put together. Unfortunately for my wilting ego it was produced too early to show the email that quadrupled response for Naked Wines, but there is some good stuff in there.

You may not need any help now, but – who knows? – one morning you might wake up thinking this stuff about content and social media is all very well, but right now we need some sales.

I’ll be here.

You could be dying – but BT morons wouldn’t give a s**t. You think I’m kidding?

Today, I reschedule a conference call – again – because of BT’s rank incompetence. And they want to sell me broadband! … But this doesn’t begin to compare with Kelly’s nightmare

“My Mum was going in for her second spinal operation to have a full disc removed due to a trapped nerve. When she was released from hospital my Dad had to leave for Munich on business, so I was left to take care of her.

I was managing a small, struggling pub in another village, and couldn’t take too much time off to stay home, so she was going to spend hours alone each day in the middle of nowhere – the cottage is in a teeny tiny village with laughable mobile phone reception.

The day I was going back to work I picked up the phone to call my Dad and let him know everything was ok … only to be greeted by silence. No dial tone.

I walked down the road to call BT and find out what was going on. I was greeted with an enthusiastic  “You told us you were moving house, so we’ve disconnected all your phone and internet lines.”

I immediately responded “ We have had the same phone line in this house for 8 years, and I have literally no idea what you’re talking about.”

The BT clerk then reiterated that they had a message on their system that we should have all our communications shut down because we were moving house. I explained again that this was absolutely not the case, and then asked who had given them this information.

They couldn’t tell me that. I told them this was a huge misunderstanding, that we very much needed the phone line, and it needed to be reconnected immediately.

“We can’t do that.”

I was a little piqued. “Why the f**k not? You just disconnected it with a click of a button, reconnect it!”

The moron at the other end said: “An engineer needs to be sent out to your house to make sure it’s suitable for a phone line and internet from us.”

At this point I was at a loss.

“You know it’s suitable, you literally just disconnected a full package from our home on a whim, you’ve been providing “service” to us for nearly a decade. Reconnect us immediately.”

I began to panic. Here I was, about to leave my Mum unable to even sit up of her own accord, in a house with no phone, no internet, and no mobile signal. If something happened to her she would be totally and utterly stranded until I came home later that evening.

I couldn’t stop imagining her injuring herself. And what if someone was to break in? She was completely helpless.

When I explained this to the woman on the phone her response was (and I swear to God) “Well that’s not really very likely now, is it?”

If she had been within arm’s reach I would have throttled her.

“We can’t do that I’m afraid, we can send an engineer out to you in 3-5 days time to set it up for you.”

At this point I lost my rag, and immediately demanded to speak to manager, who was even less helpful.  It took nearly 3 hours on the phone to get them to agree to send an Engineer out (not until the next morning), and needless to say I did not make it into work that day.

And that is why I hate BT.”


Well, after that I feel a bit ashamed, really.

My only problem is that I’ve been waiting to do a phone interview with Michael Senoff in the US for a week and they’ve done f**k-all.

Except a) send me a letter suggesting I try their broadband and b) – quite laughable – send me the transcript of a highly unsatisfactory phone conversation where some guy fails utterly to explain to Kelly why they have done sod-all.

If you ring my number you get a message saying the customer is aware of the situation and they are doing all they can.

Or in plain English, nothing – about all they are good for.

Mind you, I think they have just pissed away millions to get the right to show some sport on their bloody broadband

So they do all the wrong things right and all the right things wrong.

“Oh Mr. First Great Western Porter, what shall I do?” “I don’t give a s**t, pal.”

Introducing a Smug Pig, a Happy Horse – and Monika

I’ll come to the animals in a minute, but first, what time do you wake up?

A couple of weeks ago I spent a night in London at the Hilton as I had to do a day’s training the next day.

I rose at 4.30 to have a bit of a worry looked out of the window and got a splendid view of London’s Victoria station.

I then spent ten minutes vainly seeking a kettle. Eventually I found it, carefully hidden away. There were no tea-bags, so I rang for some.

Monika, on reception said “There should be.”

I said, “Well, there aren’t.”

So she brought me some, as she was doing her rounds with the newspapers.

When I checked in the night before they gave me a welcome cookie, which I didn’t need, and told me I had to pay for breakfast.

They also told me it would be cheaper to book the breakfast then than if I waited till morning. And that if I wanted wifi it was extra.

From all that I learned the following:

The people who run the Hilton are good at meaningless gestures like giving me a cookie just after I’ve had dinner and finding ways to make extra money. But they are not so hot at basics – the brand new shower sprayed on the bathroom floor. There were no tea bags – and why should I pay for wifi?

On balance I decided that Monika – who like a lot of other excellent people here is from Poland – is a lot more use than they are.

But they are the quintessence of competence compared to the grasping clods who run First Great Western, whose trains I am forced to catch every time I come to London.

The customer is always wrong

On Sunday I arrived at the station to find the 4.30 train advertised on the internet was not running. I was just in time to see the 4.20, which was not advertised, vanishing.

I spoke to a porter who gave a whole lot less than a hoot in hell. He just pointed at the illuminated departures sign and said “That’s the correct time.”

I then went to look at the printed times.

He saw me and strolled over.

I showed him. It said 4.30.

He said, not looking properly, but with a suitable degree of patronising contempt, “It’s Sunday” – assuming I had the day wrong.

I said, “I know what day it is” – so he could see that I was right.

He still didn’t give a flying f**k, and repeated: “Those are the right times” – pointing at the sign again.

To say he was obnoxious is an understatement

I then took his picture, and said “You’ll be all over the Internet tomorrow, pal.”

That got his attention. He said: “You can’t do that. Come with me and talk to the Railway police.”

I won’t bore you with the rest – and unfortunately the picture was blurred. But he did get the police – and you may wonder what the hell that yowl of complaint has to do with pigs and horses.

Railways and advertising archaeology

Well, when I first came to London to seek my fortune, I was a copy group head at Leo Burnett.

While there I met Draper Daniels – one of the Great Men of advertising – and saw him do a presentation.

He wrote the ad that made Marlboro the world’s biggest cigarette brand. You can see it in a book called The 100 Greatest Advertisements.

He also wrote an ad featuring a cartoon pig headed “A HOG can cross the country without changing trains, but YOU can’t”. It was all about the crazy way the railroads used to be run in the U.S. – and it changed things.

That ad came to mind as I reflected on the crazy way they are run here.

Why doesn’t the porter in Bristol give a hoot? Because the smug, overpaid, incompetent pricks who run what we sufferers call Last Great Western have a monopoly on the line.

That is because of the way the smug incompetent pricks who ran what we sufferers then called the United Kingdom privatised the wholesale mess we then called British Rail.

The First Great Western wankers can’t even be bothered to tell their staff where their wages come from.

And – I’m finally getting to the point – why did I mention the horse?

Because those old ads have lessons to teach about what works and what doesn’t in advertising.

Another is headed “My friend Joe Holmes is now a horse” – and features a cartoon horse.

Believe it or not it was to sell Arrow shirts – which it did brilliantly.

I analysed that ad last month – and three others – in some detail for the benefit of anyone who wants to know how to create advertising that actually makes things happen.

Most people have no idea, so they waste money they can ill-afford.

Would you like to get a better return on your money? To know the secrets of what turns a cost into an investment?

Then why not take a look at AskDrayton? At little more than $1 a day I think you’ll find it a very smart deal.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. There’s a full money-back guarantee.

And do you know anyone else who can show you why cartoon pigs and happy horses make money?

How not to write a press release: a quick, helpful beginners’ guide kindly provided by communications experts

Start by boasting. Use lots of jargon. Have a dull 40-word first paragraph. All sure-fire ways to emasculate a powerful marketing tool

In my second advertising job I was suddenly told to start a public relations division. I knew nothing about the discipline and lasted just under 8 months.

A shame, because PR is immensely powerful. That’s because people believe what seems to be unbiased editorial, but naturally distrust ads, which they know are biased.

But there is little or no chance anyone will read, let alone be influenced by the bucket of literary slops that follows, for reasons I shall explain in case you can’t spot them instantly.

Even if people struggle past the interminably boring first paragraph, the second, just to make sure, is one word longer.

It all comes under the heading David Ogilvy called “flatulent puffery”.

Of course, you may disagree; this is just my opinion.  But I believe the only people who run this kind of stuff are trade journals nobody reads that have lots of space to fill.

 Press Release – 19th March 2014

 Award winning communications agency Realia Marketing places NEXUS firmly at the centre of Intelligent Engineering proposition

Award winning communications agency, Realia Marketing has developed a new brand proposition for NEXUS IE – a UK engineering company dedicated to delivering best in class advice, service and support in the realisation, manufacture and continuous improvement of complex manufacturing equipment.

The new business brand, born out of the award winning automation specialist GB Innomech, was developed by Realia to target design houses, research & development and project engineering departments that need complex equipment build, testing, installation, training, servicing and support services.

The Realia team facilitated a number of planning workshops, where the brand proposition Intelligent Engineering was created. The name NEXUS, marque, website and other collateral quickly followed. Realia is now supporting NEXUS IE with public relations and social media as the business looks to rapidly expand on its current client portfolio.

I’m really happy with the work Realia has delivered for us” commented Julie Dean, Managing Director. “They quickly understood what we were trying to achieve and delivered a cost effective and compelling brand plan for the new business. The brand name NEXUS in my mind perfectly captures the connected, focused way we approach every project.”

 “This project has been an absolute pleasure to work on” commented Realia Director, Paul Williamson. “The team at NEXUS have been extremely positive about the brand challenge and together I am really proud of what has been achieved so far. I’m looking forward to working with them to help them achieve their future business objectives.”

 To find out more about NEXUS IE, and view the Realia designed branding, please visit the website etc.

Then there is lots more jargon about the agency, which is – you will not be surprised to know – “award-winning”, a phrase used twice in the first two paragraphs, but without the hyphen.  That says more about awards than the recipients.

I suggest whoever wrote all that hurry off to http://www.alexsingleton.com/the-pr-masterclass/. Quick, before it’s too late.