Apryl’s uncovenanted sex-change


I don’t know how many of you read the comments on these pieces, but what a surprise Apryl Parcher must have had when John Walters decided in his comment that she must be a man.

Mind you, that’s understandable; A.Parcher could be any sex. I am quite often written to as Mr/Ms/Mrs by people who can’t make up what sex Drayton is. However, Apryl is unquestionably female.

But the exchange between the two reminded me of Bertrand Russell’s observation: “What men seek is not knowledge, but certainty.”

In these discussions it always seems to be a matter of either/or, rather than “both” or “any combination that makes sense”. Either we should have a state-funded pensions system, or a private one, and there is no compromise.

Frankly, I agree thoroughly with H.L. Mencken’s feeling that the older he got the more he appreciated plain old-fashioned competence.

And in the matter of pensions funding – in this country anyhow – what we have seen is plain old-fashioned shiftiness by politicians.

The money that we paid and do pay to fund pensions has been taken and put to other purposes.

This is also true of the taxes we pay to fund better roads, which are used for whatever strikes the government’s fancy.

And a pretty odd fancy it is. The other day Gordon Brown, generous as ever with other people’s money when the economy is in deep shit (thanks again, Gordon) decided to offer a few million in aid to Nigeria – perhaps the most corrupt nation on earth. You really do have to wonder whether the man is not clinically deranged.

More to the point, between the time we hand over the money and the time whatever is left goes into pensions, or roads, or Nigerian thieves’ overseas bank accounts, a mighty swarm of locusts in public service has been paid – again by us – to manage the process. And again, the government here is pushing forward legislation to prevent local people determining what is built in their neighbourhoods. Who will decide? Bureaucrats we pay.

Who can tell whether private rapacity eats up more than public incompetence? But in this country I suspect I would rather trust people bent on profit than put faith in someone who thought it wise to sell off our Gold Reserves precisely when gold reached its lowest price. Another coup by Gordon “I know better then you what’s good for you” Brown.

I must say, though, going back to the comparison made by John Walters with ancient Rome, that what brought Rome to its knees had nothing to with pensions, and Rome – bearing in mind how many centuries her empire lasted – was surely a damn sight better managed than any state before or since.

What I seriously object to is that our masters today who determine these matters really don’t give a hoot, as their pensions are always inflation-proof. Good leaders share the sufferings of their troops. We have no good leaders.

Lastly, and nothing to do with all this, thank you, John W, for having a go, unasked, at putting my 51 helpful marketing ideas into book form.

What you did was stronger visually than something I had done in my office, and I think maybe I should publish.I was also pretty amazed at what they add up to; a small book! And I get some amazingly flattering comments from people.

As Harold Ross of The New Yorker used to lugubriously remark: “I am encouraged to go on”. Come to think of it, I already have, as I think there are now 82.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

8 Comments

  1. Will Rogers had it right – “We get the best politicians money can buy!”

  2. a. parcher

    Well, well…didn’t expect such a vehement response to my little epistle on the fallacy of government-run pension funds, but hey–we all have to make the world go ’round as best we can.

    But I believe Mr. Walters misunderstood me. Nowhere in my writing did I mention that people should be cut adrift if they have no means and are floundering at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder. We all have a moral duty to help those who cannot help themselves. However, that should be cannot, versus will not.

    All I’m suggesting is that those of us who are working and earning a living wage should have the ultimate say as to how our money is spent and/or saved.

    Legislating how much one must put away for retirement, how much we must give to charity, or whether or not we must wear our seatbelts or safety helmets implies that we’re too stupid to take care of our daily needs, and too selfish and greedy to help our neighbors in distress. I disagree. Vehemently.

    Most decent and law-abiding people, when given the freedom to earn a living for their families, find a way to do so with amazing regularity when unhindered by Big Brother. And people by and large are a charitable lot–especially when we don’t feel a forceable pinch in the pocketbook.

    I do look at the fall of Rome and the future of the United States as having some parallels, mainly because the collapse of Rome coincided with its burgeoning beurocracy–and subsequent loss of tax base from flight, invasion, etc. Kinda scary.

    But I’ll sum it up with some words that sadly aren’t my own, yet they do the trick nicely…and were thought up by someone much wiser than myself:

    You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

    You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

    You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

    You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

    You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

    You cannot build character and courage by taking away men’s initiative and independence.

    You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

    Author — Abraham Lincoln

    Think about it. Makes sense, does it not? And as for the uncovenanted sex-change, John, no worries. I’m rather pleased. At least you didn’t accuse me of writing like an “f-ing girl.”

    Best wishes,
    Apryl

  3. Small world, Apryl.

    I read those observations by Mr.Lincoln only the other day.

    And I do so agree.

  4. Firstly, Apryl, my apologies for assuming you were a man. I had already been chastised at home for making that assumption and you can imagine the smug expression when I was proved to be wrong!

    OK, let’s cut to the chase – government-run pension schemes. Bear in mind that I have zero knowledge of how the US government funds its pension scheme. My remarks were prompted by your implication that the only people to benefit from taxes collected to pay pensions were those who were rorting (Australian for defrauding)the system, “…giving it away to every Tom, Dick and Sally that complain of a hangnail, but who never contributed.”

    And further on you said “Much better off to have people responsible for their OWN pensions.”

    To me it was clear that you were saying that government-run pension schemes should be abolished as they were “…pissed away on the ever-fattening beaurocracy” and that everyone should be solely responsible for their own pension needs.

    I don’t think I misunderstood you. Perhaps you were carried away by your rhetoric in repeating this mantra of conservative politicians without thinking too clearly about its implications.

    If you were not really saying that all those many millions who earn only modestly and really struggle throughout their working lives and simply cannot put away enough to fund a pension for themselves should not be thrown on the scrap heap, then I invite you to agree that a compassionate and caring society should provide for their basic needs. Remember, in their own way they too have contributed to the affluent society you are enjoying by working, whether as employees or self-employed and helped to create the wealth that more fortunate people can enjoy. These people, too, pay taxes in one form or another. Is America such an uncaring society that it denies them a modest and dignified life at the end of their days? What sort of society is it that denies them that right and would have them beg for private charity if they are to survive at all?

    And finally, those quotes of Abraham Lincoln… weren’t from the revered Abe. They were written by one William J.H. Boetcker and were mistakenly attributed to Lincoln in 1942 and wrongly attributed ever since. (Thank you, Wikipedia).

    As Drayton will tell you Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.

    Incidentally the Abe Lincoln quote that I particularly like, and one unfortunately that I always forget, is “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

    Cheers

    John

  5. a. parcher

    Guess we’re having a miscommunication on the difference between a pension, a charity, and government support.

    To me, a pension means the money my employer and I put away for my retirement years. In the US anyway, pensions are usually funded jointly by employer and employee, and the resultant monies are set aside in the employee’s name (and his only), not in a general fund.

    Social Security and Medicare, on the other hand, is taxed by the Government from employer and employee, but there is where the resemblance to a real pension ends.

    There is no fund with my name on it–the cash goes into the general coffers and is only earmarked on paper for my benefit.

    Any monies my employers and I contributed have already been spent on past retirees in a revolving door system that assumes there will always be enough workers to “fund” those who are leaving the system to collect. It was designed (though not very well)as a fall-back system for those who could not fund their own retirement fully, and/or who become disabled and cannot work, so they won’t be left twisting in the wind and completely penniless.

    However, the system is not solvent, and there are rumors that it will go belly up before I reach retirement age.

    THAT’s the problem, John. It’s not solvent, and never has been. Politicians have been robbing the general fund for pet projects since the invention of taxes, and never have to answer for it to anyone.

    In a way, Social Security is a charity that we all subscribe to, and as such I don’t mind the idea of contributing on its face–but I DO mind having my money frittered away and not truly set aside.

    We also all pay collectively into government support (Welfare) for those who cannot work, so no one need starve.

    It irks me when those tax monies are wasted, as when the Government taxes us to pay for very much needed social programs and then proceeds to run them into the ground with incompetence and then cry for more.

    That’s common business sense, whether I’m conservative in my views or not. If I ran my business the way the Government is run, it wouldn’t last long enough to fill out the forms to apply for the Dole–which is why I don’t want them to touch my pension!

    As for being charitable, Americans are the most giving people on this planet. Outside of taxes, our citizenry gives billions to help disadvantaged peoples in every corner of the globe. When disaster strikes, we’re usually first to respond both with our time and resources both abroad and at home–and don’t leave our elderly to languish uncared for in heat waves, or our children to starve in the streets.

    Lastly, my hat’s off to William J.H. Boetcker, whether his sage comments were wrongly attributed to Lincoln or anyone else. I still think they’re relevant, whether quoting them makes me look foolish or not. 🙂

  6. Well, Apryl, I certainly agree that governments have a considerable talent for wasting money, mostly it seems to me, to try and get themselves re-elected.
    In this country, Australia, the government sold off a lot of the assets that it owned and with the proceeds set up what they called a Future Fund. The intention is to have enough money to fund future pensions. Time will tell! At least the person in charge seems to be taking the job seriously and resisting government pressure to invest in its pet projects.
    Incidentally, I certainly never meant to, and hope I didn’t, imply that Americans weren’t generous and compassionate. Everyone is aware of the immense amounts of money spent by the American people on overseas aid.
    I do wonder though, about the ability of pension fund contributors to have a say in the investment strategies of the fund. Hopefully the people running them are highly trained professionals and amateur interference, however well intentioned, could be counter productive.
    From your description it appears that the pension funds in both of our countries run along the same lines and inevitably they are subject to market forces so values can fluctuate.
    And as for government incompetence, there is in the end only one solution – vote them out of office. Too long in office and they become complacent, then lazy and finally arrogant. That’s when things really start going wrong. You may not like it but it seems the only way of getting them back on track, lean and hungry, is to take away their power for a bit.
    When its all boiled down in essence there is little fundamental difference between the ways either party acts when in office. They are all subject to the same forces and economic realities. How they tackle them may differ, but if they don’t work there is always the ballot box!
    And if I dare I would like to quote Abraham Lincoln,
    “Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing government, and form a new one that suits them better. This is a most valuable – a most sacred right – a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate the world.”
    He got it right, there!
    Best wishes
    John

  7. Interesting discussions going on there.

    I’d like to comment on one of those statements though:

    Hopefully the people running them are highly trained professionals

    Given the total mess of pension funds (in the UK, at least) I would have to think your hopes are in vain.

    Seems to me that most of these fund managers are just overpaid gamblers, frittering away other peoples money. How on earth can huge bonuses be paid to this bunch when they can’t even be sure of meeting the returns of a simple ‘tracker’ style investment?

    Oh well, rant over.

  8. John Rutter makes a good point and one that I was also conscious of when writing my previous rant.
    But charity makes me believe that some of them must be proficient. Aren’t they…. surely….

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